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万圣节性感服装
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Nothing could have prepared us for this! There is no way in hell we would EVER have guessed that sexy Freddy Krueger could be a thing. But it is, and we have proof right here! Best of all, this Freddy Krueger is MORE THAN SEXY… She’s smoking hot!!!
Nurse Spanky
The doctor might not be in, but the nurse is here to check your prostate. The latex glove is on, but she wanted you to know she forgot the lube at home. No worries, you tell her, nothing I haven’t been through before… which is a lie, but she’s hot, so you don’t care.
Copy, Let's get Frisky!
We’ve got your surrounded! Come out with your pants down! If we heard these words coming from THIS girl, we would definitely comply immediately. We’d also make sure we had some extra weapons stored in strategic spots so that she’d have to frisk us. There’s at least one weapon she’d have trouble removing!
Judge Headd
Judge, jury, and sexecutioner! You’ve been found guilty (of being a perv)! It’s time to take your punishment like a man! Not that you’ll have any problems with that if THIS is the person doling out the punishment! As long as she keeps that gavel from coming down on anything too sensitive.
Prisoner, Is It Showtime yet
Someone has been found guilty of being naughty. Next stop, the big house! It just figures that something as bad as prison can be turned sexyfor Halloween. After seeing sexy Freddy Krueger, nothing surprises us anymore!
Nun, Confess Your Sins!
Why, oh why, did I not attend Sunday school? I also didn’t pay attention at mass… if I even made it there in the first place! I did have my communion but that was so long ago, the nuns were still a bit more conservative. It’s good to see that in this day and age, the nuns have kept up with the times.
Librarian, She can read your thoughts!
Your paper is late, and you’re only hitting the library now? Oh, I get it, you’ve been at the library for a while hitting the librarian… I see. I really respect someone who delves so deeply into researching their subject that they’re oblivious to everything that happens around them.
This sexy librarian, an oxymoron if I’ve ever heard one, is an absolute dream come true. After spending my entire childhood in libraries, listening to those crusty old bags explaining the Dewey decimal system, I have to say seeing a librarian that looked like this would have been a nice change. Maybe that’s why my grades were so bad, I didn’t have the proper scholastic motivation to succeed.
Pirate, Walk The Skank!
Yaaarrrr, there she blows! There’s a reason that women were never allowed on ships in the old days… and that’s because of THIS! Not that we’re complaining (we are not) but we can’t remember the last time we, or anyone else for that matter, saw a pirate look like this!
Naturally, this is what a pirate SHOULD look like, but reality never matches fantasy… ever. We’re not sure why girls would want to dress as a guy who rapes and pillages, but we support their decision since they decided the best course of action is to make the pirate slutty. In any case, we’d be happy to help them search for their pirate’s booty!
Devil In A Tiny Dress
Nothing says Halloween (in America) like a horny devil… uh, pardon us, like a devil with horns. The devil is almost synonymous with Halloween and rightly so, as Halloween is a holiday rooted in evil. It’s like saying that Jesus is a good fit for Christmas.
Women like to dress as the devil for many reasons. They can always make the aforementioned joke (that they’re horny, wakka-wakka-wakka!) They can tell their love that they’re feeling naughty… and that’s ALWAYS a good thing! And no one really questions the devil being slutty, since it’s the devil! Slutty devil is a safe but effective Halloween costume!
Maid, Get Down And Dirty
Nothing is worse than a dirty room, and nothing is better than a dirty maid. Seems a bit contradictory, but upon closer examination, it’s not. That’s because the maid we’re talking about is the typical slutty maid (or evenslutty French maid). The maid is one of the best selling costumes at Halloween time.
Considering the decline in female house-keeping in recent years, it’s strange that women would want to dress as a profession that’s tasked with doing exactly that. We think it’s a ploy to attract men with perceived notions of good house-keeping, or maybe they just (secretly) like the fact that when they bend over to clean that bottom bookshelf, their skirts are too short and leave them vulnerable to prying eyes.
Santa, Ready To Unwrap?
It’s not quite time for the Christmas holidays, but the hottest girl around just dressed up as Santa Clause. Are YOU going to tell her she made a mistake? Or are you going to go along with the flow and unwrap your carefully dressed present? That’s what I thought.
Besides, Christmas is so close to Halloween, they might as well be the same holiday. We already have Christmas In July, and that comes WAAAY before Halloween! Sexy Santa Clause is one of the best costumes possible. Everyone has always wished they could hook up with Santa, especially if Santa managed to relocate that big gut he has to his chest and split it evenly into two plump breasts. Merry Christmas, indeed!
Vampire, Blood Sucking Mistress
She vants to suck your… blood? No, that’s not right, she mentioned something else… can’t quite remember what… oh well, it’ll come to me soon. In the meantime, feast your eyes on this beautiful vampire before she feasts on you!
The sexy vampire is as American-Halloween as a Pumpkin Spice Latte is at Starbucks! Vampires are the most popular supernatural being in American horror fiction (yes, even more so than Zombies, which are relatively new). Of course, the logical thing is to make the sexy… because there’s nothing sexier than a being of the night sucking the blood out of your body at night. And NO! NOT in a good way!
Cowgirl, Riding Your Bronco
Yeehaw! It’s rodeo time, and this cowgirl is here to win it all! She’s ready to ride your bronco for the full 8 inches… uh, we mean, for the full 8 seconds! Yeah, her neck is a little red, but that’s only because she forgot her sunblock SPF 50 at home.
We’re not sure what it is about cowgirls that makes them so sexy, but it probably has something to do with those tight pants. This gunslinger is not afraid to face you down at high noon and then roll around with you in the hay. She even likes to chew tobacco, which ISN’T sexy, but it DOES mean that she’s got some in case you ever run out.
Supergirl, Softer Than Superman
There are about one million superheroes between Marvel, DC, Image, and a few other comic book companies. Obviously we know the usual suspects, Superman, Batman, Spider-man, and the X-Men. But it’sSupergirl who has our hearts!
And why not? She’s a superhero, great looking, young (but not TOO young), and she’ll beat up any bad guy (or bad girl) who tries to ruin her evening out on the town. We have to say, not enough women dress as Supergirl for Halloween. We’re not sure why, but maybe they’re discouraged because they’re not blonde, or they don’t look exactly like her. We’re here to say, if you look good, dress as Supergirl at least once in your life! People will like your costume!
Ghostbuster, Bustier Than Thou
I ain’t afraid of no ghosts! Wait, actually, I am afraid! I’m calling the ghostbusters because THIS particular ghostbuster said she’d keep me safe. She like to fight ghosts by busting out (her electron gun, of course!) and then capturing the little ghouls in her ghost trap!
The ghostbuster costume is one of the most fitting costumes for Halloween. Not only is it a great memory we have from the 1980’s (it was one of our favorite movies) but it also deals directly with a subject matter that’s found at the heart of Halloween, ghosts. As far as movies go, we can’t wait for the Ghostbuster all-female remake! We just wish that THIS is the costume the new girls end up wearing!
Skunk, What’s That Stank?
There are just too many jokes for this one for us to even begin. Leave it to a hot chick to take the nastiest animal on Earth (as far as we know… but there might be nastier ones) and turn it into a sexy Halloween costume that’s actually really cute.
Pepe Le Peu would be proud… and turned on! The skunk costume is NOT an everyday occurrence… actually, it might not even appear every Halloween. It’s probably the leap-year of Halloween costumes, where every 4 years, some random girl on Earth decides to dress up as a skunk for this most evil of holidays. Just make sure not to piss her off, or she’ll squirt on you!
Plumber, Caulk That Crack!
Your plumbing is leaking and she’s here to help. This plumber is not afraid to get down on her knees and make sure everything works correctly. And if it’s an emergency, she’ll make sure to come now, and not later when you’re not expecting it.
Plumbers are not known for sexiness, so we appreciate good looking girls who try to fill the void, we just wish they were licensed and not just pretending to know how to fix the sink. That being said, we’ll still call them over to our house, regardless of their past toilet-fixing experience. Plumber’s crack and all else considered, the Plumber is NOT one of the best Halloween costumes available… and besides, who wants to think of the crapper while out partying on Halloween night?
Mummy, Bandaged Bondage
Of the 5 or 6 top monsters in horror fiction (the others being vampire, werewolf, ghost, frankenstein, and zombie) the mummy ranks as the most boring. Seriously, a dead dude from 3,000 years in the past, wrapped in bandages? [sarcasm] That’s absolutely terrifying.
A girl mummy makes up for it a bit. Girls always look sexier than guys, especially in costume. You can unwrap a girl mummy, which might sound sexy on paper, but might not end up being so sexy when you see her 3,000 year-old booty. That’s why it’s so important to find the right mummy… maybe one that’s not so old. The best way to make sure it to check her bandages for signs of extreme aging. If they’re yellow, move on!
Lumberjack, Works With Wood
There is nothing sexier than a woman who knows how to work with wood, especially when she’s chopping it down! WAIT, WHAT?!? Scratch that last part, there won’t be any chopping going on today. Lorena Bobbitt is on vacation.
It seems silly that women would want to dress up as a lumberjack for Halloween, and that’s because it is! What’s even sillier is when said lumberjack is slutty lumberjack… because there’s no such thing as sexy lumberjack. Whoever came up with this costume must have been female because no guy would EVER think it’s a good idea to arm a woman with an axe. Never, ever, EVER!
Grim Reaper, Your Time Has Come
Well, now they’ve done it. This is the absolute bottom of the barrel. As of today, death is sexy. There are really only one or two things in the world that are less sexy than death, and none of them are featured in this article. Even Freddy Krueger is sexier than death, and that’s saying something!
Of course, the sexier the girl, the easier it will be forgive her indiscretion… especially if we can participate with her in any further indiscretions she may have in mind. But we draw the line at using the sickle as a prop since that’s too debased even for us! And that’s REALLY saying something!
Not all costumes have to be so sexy though, here are some other fun costume ideas…
